I don't matter.

I don't know what I'm doing...which pretty much sums up adulthood. I can kind of cook. I do my laundry sometimes. I have a few jobs. I'm getting married. I'm trying. I think we can all agree being an adult is challenging and scary. But if the present is scary, thinking about the future is terrifying!

I want to have kids some day, but I'm admittedly worried about what kind of world I'll be bringing these children into. I don't want them spending their entire lives worrying about a real-life Wall-E situation happening in their lifetime or getting swallowed up by a sea of plastic. I want them to live a carefree happy life! Think 1990s. Maybe I'm being optimistic, but I have enough stress in my life. As I write this, my chest muscles are spasming. (If you're a doctor and think I should call 9-1-1, let me know) But, instead of, or in addition to, stressing, I want to take action.

I've always felt kind of alone. Not in terms of friends or family (Hi Mom!)...but as in: I don't matter. I'm only one person in a world of billions. So what if I throw away my toothbrush? I'm only one person. I don't like this bottle of shampoo, I'll just throw it away and buy something different. Who cares?

Um...apparently Mother Earth does. And she can be such a b*tch.

The "I'm just one person" mentality is not good. That's something I'm going to try to change. And I encourage others to follow suit!

Okay, since we're being honest, here. I'm pretty bad at follow through. I have these great ideas, and eventually lose interest. I had a blog once, in 2011. I was looking for something to take my mind off of moving to Williamsburg for the summer and Becca's Bitchin' Blog seemed like a good idea. Why did it only last a few days? I met my fiancé and he managed to keep me distracted from homesickness for two months.

Anyways, my point is I might only write 5 blog posts. Maybe I'll keep it going for a couple weeks or months! Who knows!? But, if my one or one hundred blog posts can help one other person re-evaluate their habits, that's great! Mission accomplished.